A night like before

Oh my god. Listen, the last night was like the nighst before she got pregnant. I was so drunk, i can hardly remember anything. I hope i don't cheated on her >.< No i don't think so, but it felt really well to be drunken. I lived in my own world, where everything is going after my mind and that felt really well. Like heaven god damned. My wife hates alcohol, her father died because of drinking, but i don't care. It's the only thing that keeps me happy. If i'm not drunk i think about suicide you know ? And that really scares me. Theres the fear from my inside. And it keeps my mind dark, just drunken theres a light inside. Lets keep it shiny.
Please pray ! Pray that i'm going to survive the next night. But don't pray for me, pray for my baby. I'm out of this shit.

Goodbye and thanks for listening.

Cheerz henryk